Home ALT-Left Activists & News EXCLUSIVE: Dispatches from the Resistance (Report No. 1)

EXCLUSIVE: Dispatches from the Resistance (Report No. 1)


Editor’s Note:  In an effort to be fair and balanced, Committed Conservative has embedded a left-wing correspondent deep within the American Resistance to report on their courageous struggle to liberate America from the oppression of President Trump and the Republican Congress.  This is the first in an ongoing series of reports from inside the Resistance. Some names, including that of our correspondent, and other minor details have been changed to protect the identity of our correspondent. These reports are otherwise unedited.

First Report

When I was approached to join and report from with the Resistance, I jumped at the opportunity. I had been sitting in my parents’ basement day after day helplessly watching as Donald Trump and the Republicans occupied our country, and now I had a chance to fight back.

The first thing I had to figure out was how to join the Resistance. Fortunately, the answer presented itself to me before I had to leave my parents’ house. One day as I was reading Facebook, catching up on the news of the world from Mother Jones and The Daily Kos, a manifesto appeared in my news feed. It reviewed how Donald Trump and the Congressional Republicans are Nazis who want to oppress women, Jews, Muslims, blacks, gays, and poor people (as we all unfortunately know) and invited me to add my name to the list of people who pledge to resist. Since every good resistance movement starts with a public declaration of who is participating, I added my name to the list.

Now that I had joined the Resistance, I waited to be contacted with my assignments. I couldn’t wait to find out how I could help with the Struggle. Would I be asked to break some non-privileged non-white inmates out of prison? Maybe I’d be helping bring some new undocumented workers into the country to help our economy? Or perhaps I’d get to help stop “conservatives” (Nazis) from spreading their extremist “views” to young and impressionable college students who aren’t as enlightened as myself?

Days went by, and I began to doubt that anyone was going to contact me. Were they waiting for me to somehow prove my dedication to the Cause?

I realized that I’d have to go find them myself. I’d literally have to leave my parents’ basement and go out into the cold, dark, oppressed world known as the United States of America.

And so I took money out of my college trust account and packed a backpack for my journey. My parents had put that money in my trust account in the naive belief that I should and would use it to go to college. Well, I’d tried that, and at first I even thought it might be useful. The course on White Privilege and the one on Feminist Themes in African-American Women’s Science Fiction showed me how the world really works.

But then they wanted me to take courses in stupid things like algebra and biology and logic. My parents had taken those courses, and where did it get them? I’ll tell you where: A dreary life of going to work to earn a paycheck week after week. They’re now so indoctrinated that they don’t even realize how oppressed they are by a system that forces them to work in order to be paid.

So I took my mom’s Honda Civic (I know, right?) to the airport and bought my ticket to San Francisco. I’d seen on MSNBC all of the freedom fighters at U.C. Berkeley bravely fighting to prevent any non-liberal views from infesting their campus, and Rachel Maddow showed me that that’s where I could gain entry into the Resistance.  I was finally on my way.

NEXT:  First contact with the Resistance

Author: Ken Falkenstein

Ken Falkenstein is the Managing Editor of Committed Conservative and brings a wealth of experience and expertise in public affairs to the job. Ken served in the U.S. Army in the last years of the Cold War as a Russian linguist for military intelligence and the NSA. After leaving the Army, he earned his degree in Secondary Education from Old Dominion University, where he also wrote a popular column in the student newspaper.

Upon graduation, Ken worked as a Legislative Aide to two Republican members of the Virginia House of Delegates. Ken also served as Corresponding Secretary of the Young Republican Federation of Virginia, managed several successful political campaigns, and managed governmental affairs operations for a local Realtor association.

In 1995, Ken moved to Washington, DC to serve as a Legislative Assistant to Sen. John Warner (R-VA). While working for Sen. Warner, Ken attended law school at night, earning his J.D. with honors from the George Mason University School of Law (n/k/a The Antonin Scalia Law School). Since that time, Ken has practiced as a civil litigation attorney, including serving for three years as an Associate City Attorney for the City of Virginia Beach, Virginia.

Ken previously was a contributor to the highly-regarded political blog Bearing Drift and was a weekly co-host of The Steve Batton Radio Program. In 2016, Ken ran unsuccessfully for the Virginia Beach School Board. Ken is also a former President of the Down Syndrome Association of Hampton Roads.

Ken now lives outside of Denver, Colorado with his wife, Kim, and three sons, Adam, Dylan, and Joshua, who has Down syndrome. Ken’s writing is motivated and informed primarily by his concern for his kids’ future.