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New York Times Calls for Banning Airplanes to End Terrorism


September 11, 2019 (REAL FAKE NEWS) – The New York Times today published a hard-hitting editorial demanding that all airplanes be banned.

The ground-breaking editorial came amidst the Times‘ in-depth coverage of the events of September 11, 2001, in which the revered Newspaper of Record reminded the world that 18 years ago, “airplanes took aim and brought down the World Trade Center.”

The Times editorial recounted the tragedy that resulted when four airplanes suddenly took control of themselves and aimed themselves at selected targets throughout the United States.

The airplanes succeeded in striking both towers of the World Trade Center in New York City and the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia. Heroic passengers on United Airlines flight 93 were successful in thwarting another airplane’s effort to strike a target in Washington, DC by forcing the plane to crash in Pennsylvania.

The American people remember to this day the expressions of horror, sympathy, and support that were sent by all corners of the world, from our closest allies in Europe and the Americas to our Islamist brethren in al Qaeda and the Taliban.

However, the esteemed Gray Lady today declared that those thoughts and prayers for our nation were not sufficient to address the real issue: “How many more innocents must die because Congress is beholden to the airplane lobby and refuses to eliminate these weapons of destruction from our midst?” demanded the Times editorial board.

Democratic candidates for president across the board immediately praised the Times for its courageous advocacy and declared their solidarity with the anti-airplane campaign.

“Enough Americans have died due to airplane violence,” declared Sen. Elizabeth Warren.

“When I’m president, airplanes will turn themselves in because that will be the law,” added former Rep. Beto O’Rourke.”

But perhaps the most poignant comments came from former Vice President Joe Biden: “On September 11, 2001, I was on United Flight 93 making an official trip back to DC as Vice President. My word as a Biden. I saw firsthand the bravery of those who refused to allow the plane to reach its target in Washington. Even as these heroic passengers were bringing the plane down, I tried to present an award for heroism to Todd Beamer, but he refused it, saying he didn’t deserve it. I’ll never forget his humility and courage.”

When asked how he could be alive today if he had been on Flight 93 on 9/11, Mr. Biden responded, “Well, the details don’t matter. What matters is that I will fight to ban airplanes to make sure this kind of tragedy never happens again.”

Author: Ken Falkenstein

Ken Falkenstein is the Managing Editor of Committed Conservative and brings a wealth of experience and expertise in public affairs to the job. Ken served in the U.S. Army in the last years of the Cold War as a Russian linguist for military intelligence and the NSA. After leaving the Army, he earned his degree in Secondary Education from Old Dominion University, where he also wrote a popular column in the student newspaper. Upon graduation, Ken worked as a Legislative Aide to two Republican members of the Virginia House of Delegates. Ken also served as Corresponding Secretary of the Young Republican Federation of Virginia, managed several successful political campaigns, and managed governmental affairs operations for a local Realtor association. In 1995, Ken moved to Washington, DC to serve as a Legislative Assistant to Sen. John Warner (R-VA). While working for Sen. Warner, Ken attended law school at night, earning his J.D. with honors from the George Mason University School of Law (n/k/a The Antonin Scalia Law School). Since that time, Ken has practiced as a civil litigation attorney, including serving for three years as an Associate City Attorney for the City of Virginia Beach, Virginia. Ken previously was a contributor to the highly-regarded political blog Bearing Drift and was a weekly co-host of The Steve Batton Radio Program. In 2016, Ken ran unsuccessfully for the Virginia Beach School Board. Ken is also a former President of the Down Syndrome Association of Hampton Roads. Ken now lives outside of Denver, Colorado with his wife, Kim, and three sons, Adam, Dylan, and Joshua, who has Down syndrome. Ken’s writing is motivated and informed primarily by his concern for his kids’ future.