WASHINGTON (Real Fake News) – In the wake of the recent outbreak of the E. coli virus at McDonald’s, President Joe Biden today appointed Vice President Kamala Harris to be his “Burger Czar” to handle this crisis.
“Given Kamala’s valuable experience working at McDonald’s and background growing up in a middle class family, I can think of no one more qualified to handle this challenge,” said Biden. “We need look no further than the leadership she showed as my Border Czar in cleaning up our southern border to see that she’s the right person for this job.”
“I am deeply honored by the confidence that the president has placed in me,” said Harris. “As Burger Czar, I am today announcing that we have determined that the cause of the E. coli outbreak was Donald Trump working a McDonald’s drive-thru window earlier this week. Later today, Attorney General Garland will be filing new criminal charges against Mr. Trump.”
Author: Ken Falkenstein
Ken Falkenstein is the Managing Editor of Committed Conservative and brings a wealth of experience and expertise in public affairs to the job. Ken served in the U.S. Army in the last years of the Cold War as a Russian linguist for military intelligence and the NSA. After leaving the Army, he earned his degree in Secondary Education from Old Dominion University, where he also wrote a popular column in the student newspaper.
Upon graduation, Ken worked as a Legislative Aide to two Republican members of the Virginia House of Delegates. Ken also served as Corresponding Secretary of the Young Republican Federation of Virginia, managed several successful political campaigns, and managed governmental affairs operations for a local Realtor association.
In 1995, Ken moved to Washington, DC to serve as a Legislative Assistant to Sen. John Warner (R-VA). While working for Sen. Warner, Ken attended law school at night, earning his J.D. with honors from the George Mason University School of Law (n/k/a The Antonin Scalia Law School). Since that time, Ken has practiced as a civil litigation attorney, including serving for three years as an Associate City Attorney for the City of Virginia Beach, Virginia.
Ken previously was a contributor to the highly-regarded political blog Bearing Drift and was a weekly co-host of The Steve Batton Radio Program. In 2016, Ken ran unsuccessfully for the Virginia Beach School Board. Ken is also a former President of the Down Syndrome Association of Hampton Roads.
Ken now lives outside of Denver, Colorado with his wife, Kim, and three sons, Adam, Dylan, and Joshua, who has Down syndrome. Ken’s writing is motivated and informed primarily by his concern for his kids’ future.
